Am -I- Wasting -My- Strength?

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Am -I- Wasting -My- Strength?

Postby LD330 » Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:58 pm

I'm looking for some general advice, or life tips, from Thelemites on what to do.

I'm almost 28 and not too sure what to be doing with my life. As I understand it that's a typical struggle for somebody my age. It seems nothing worthwhile in life comes from instant gratification. Everything that's worthwhile takes time to do: the compound effect in action.

I'm looking for a job but again everything takes years of experience to do. I feel so underqualified for most positions.

Somehow I have a portfolio of published writing, mostly for a local newspaper. I thought I would be a writer when I was a kid and in high school. Unfortunately for present-day me my writing influences were Hunter S. Thompson and Jack Kerouac and all of them, so obviously that never led to a life of a highly-paid writing professional.

I don't want to write for somebody else or work at a content farm or whatever. I think I'm good when I'm in my own element but have difficulty writing when I don't care about the topic.

Plus it seems like BS to think I need to be a writer cause I wanted to be one as a kid. Most jobs are fun when you get into them.

I have some other minor skills I picked up like Adobe Suite and HTML/CSS/JS that I am trying to leverage. But I have not really focused on anything to get what I want. Again I can feel that most workplaces would want somebody who was 'destined' for design, that that was what they always wanted to do.

I can do a bunch of different things 'okay', but can't do anything great.

What to do?

The one thing I did do right was read a ton of books. That and exercise are two things I know that always help me.

I figure this is part of my Saturn return in astrology. I thought I'd be prepared for it but I guess not.

How do you deal with this type of situation? Needing to work with what I've already done in life, when a lot of it has been random chaos thrown in a thousand different directions. The unfocused life.
"People in this world look at things mistakenly, and think that what they do not understand must be the void. This is not the true void. It is bewilderment."
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Re: Am -I- Wasting -My- Strength?

Postby Takamba » Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:25 pm

We're going to be happiest when we are rewarded by what we are doing compared to when we are wanting to be rewarded later for what we are doing.

That's some good, general advice right there. Thou hast no right but to do thy will. You don't have the right to want your will to become something else (like a paycheck), you don't have the right to do someone else's will for them, you don't have the right to not do your will, and so many other concepts can be drawn out of that one and only right you have. For pure will is self-rewarding and doesn't care one iota what others think of it. There's a lot to extrapolate from that as well.

It's great to get paid writing. Even Hunter S. Thompson had to take a gig with Rolling Stone he didn't always like - and he wrote that dislike into a great bit of something unexpected instead. So there's that as well, that it is okay to work for someone else if you get the chance. If you're smart about, you're still always working for yourself even if it is their office space, their product produced, and their editing changing your words to fit their agenda. You got paid. You put that pay away to your own ambitions and you move on.

Seek not permanence. That's my advice to all who seek the path of the non-black-brother. Seek not that things must be this or must be that, but that they could also be instead something even greater than your imagination! Seek ever to more!

That's some darn good general advice also.

Who's going to care? I don't care where you bury my body when I'm gone. You can bury my body by the highway side. I won't care. I'll be dead an gone. Is it a contest that in the end one of us is getting a trophy for and the rest are going to say, "shoot, I shoulda tried harder at being unhappy with things as they were." I mean, that is the American way - right? Being unhappy with things as they are and still calling it love?

General advice? Know thyself first. Be thyself first. It will all come out in the wash.
"If we are to have Beauty and Love, whether in begetting children or works of art, or what not, we must have perfect freedom to act, without fear or shame or any falsity."
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Re: Am -I- Wasting -My- Strength?

Postby LD330 » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:09 pm

Takamba wrote:We're going to be happiest when we are rewarded by what we are doing compared to when we are wanting to be rewarded later for what we are doing.

That's some good, general advice right there. Thou hast no right but to do thy will. You don't have the right to want your will to become something else (like a paycheck), you don't have the right to do someone else's will for them, you don't have the right to not do your will, and so many other concepts can be drawn out of that one and only right you have. For pure will is self-rewarding and doesn't care one iota what others think of it. There's a lot to extrapolate from that as well.


That's a good way to put it. That's what I usually do anyway, but I've never seen someone give it to me as advice. I usually act in the moment because that feels like the only thing I can do. I have such trouble planning things.

I've felt a higher state though, where I was actually able to think and plan for the future. I took that Thelema discipline to a higher level, where I wrote out a schedule and would follow it and have my will be a bit more long-term. I still felt the instant gratification of doing my will, but it felt like I had a higher purpose and was doing it. I just wish I could get back into that state. I got kicked out of it from being around people again.


Takamba wrote:It's great to get paid writing. Even Hunter S. Thompson had to take a gig with Rolling Stone he didn't always like - and he wrote that dislike into a great bit of something unexpected instead. So there's that as well, that it is okay to work for someone else if you get the chance. If you're smart about, you're still always working for yourself even if it is their office space, their product produced, and their editing changing your words to fit their agenda. You got paid. You put that pay away to your own ambitions and you move on.

Seek not permanence. That's my advice to all who seek the path of the non-black-brother. Seek not that things must be this or must be that, but that they could also be instead something even greater than your imagination! Seek ever to more!

That's some darn good general advice also.


I've still got to read some of Hunter's stuff. I never got through Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail.


Takamba wrote:Who's going to care? I don't care where you bury my body when I'm gone. You can bury my body by the highway side. I won't care. I'll be dead an gone. Is it a contest that in the end one of us is getting a trophy for and the rest are going to say, "shoot, I shoulda tried harder at being unhappy with things as they were." I mean, that is the American way - right? Being unhappy with things as they are and still calling it love?

General advice? Know thyself first. Be thyself first. It will all come out in the wash.


Sounds like you think everything will work out. Thanks for that. I just worry sometimes.
"People in this world look at things mistakenly, and think that what they do not understand must be the void. This is not the true void. It is bewilderment."
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Re: Am -I- Wasting -My- Strength?

Postby Takamba » Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:57 pm

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Thou hast no right but to do thy will. Do that and no other shall say nay.
For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.
There is no law beyond do what thou wilt.
Love is the law, love under will.

From in my heart (memory), that is the entire formula of Thelema as I see it.
What is thy will? Are you sure? You aren't doing someone else's will I hope. Check that, be sure. True will isn't just like some sort of grand life's purpose thing that say God created for you - it can't be, that would be God's will and not your will - unless you are God - but you can't be God if God can create something first and then you second and then a rule that you must discover what it is all about. So... with that, we toss this light saber called "True Will" aside. This isn't what it is about, it's just what some easily entertained thought it was about. True Will isn't the opposite of a false will (such a thing is only a thing in imagination). True Will is instead different than magnetic will and general will and as-the-crow-flies will. It's True Will and I know mine because my Compass was my guide to the magnetic will and when I re-invented my Compass, calibrating it with the technology of the New Aeon (the Nu Age even), it showed me new degrees and I Adjusted (eight and eleven and zero equals two and so forth and so on and Further and Further and no left turn unstoned and on and on and on...).

Solve et Coagula. It's the poster-child of alchemical reformation of the self. Is it not? First we dissolve the raw matter involved in our search (ourselves here). We determine what is us and what is not us, what is us and what is program, what is us and what is education, what is us and what is indoctrination, what is us and what is commercial manipulation, what is us and what is the lies our family told us, and so forth. You get the picture. Learn what is your will and what is not your will and stop doing what is not your will.

Do your true will is going to be, more than likely (unless your one of those legendary, mythical blue babies called "Indigo Children") 93 percent not doing all those other "wills" you've been dealing with all your life. That's true will and it's that business that Crowley's A.'.A.'. curriculum will get you into. And then after dissolving all these complexes, we resolve them into a new single form, a simpler form, and we do our Will from there. Remember, somewhere it has been written by our Prophet and his students that that which is complex is evil and that that which is simple is good. Or something like that.

It's wonderful to have plans. It's wonderful to set goals. It's wonderful to achieve schedules. It is a form of yoga to maintain all in a business way. No argument. No nay will come of it. But it is in doing those things that the joy of it is found. If it is drudgery to write a schedule, if it is anxiety motivated to have a deadline - will has flown away. Something needs to be repaired in this formula then (what will depend on each moment).

Why do we have plans? To achieve this. Why do we achieve this? No reason required. If there is a reason required, why wasn't that reason the goal and not this? How inefficient Now, that is a waste of strength - being inefficient. Be sure that that which you declare to by your Will is indeed the end all. If there is a because attending it, it is weakened. Fix that.

"I want a car!" "Why do you want a car?" "To get a job." "Don't you need a job to get a car?" That's a waste of strength.

"I want a car!" "Why do you want a car?" "So I can have a car." - That is not a waste of strength.

There may be value arguments against what I have said, but those are personal and I don't care. You either want a car or you don't. No one has the right to tell you to not value it.
"If we are to have Beauty and Love, whether in begetting children or works of art, or what not, we must have perfect freedom to act, without fear or shame or any falsity."
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