Frater 639 wrote:
1. Where the intellect is overbearing in ritual, getting excited about the ritual is more important than the ritual itself. This is a really important aspect when it comes to suspension of disbelief. One's own means of gaining energized enthusiasm is more powerful than any one else's uninspired ritual.
Crowley one time recited some weird folk tune to get the desired energetic enthusiasm levels. By any means necessary.
I must throw my wise Probabtioner 2 cents in here.
I spent years doing the LBRP and it was always along the lines of -can imagine them, can feel something is happening - it's getting better !!
It wasn't. it stayed at the same 'meh' level for years.
Middle Pillar? Same .
Instead of performing it twice a day, I mainly did it once a day but missed days here and there. I also slacked off by not physically doing it when tired but mentally doing it. And sometimes missed whole weaks.
This wasn't all the time but it happened often enough to see easily enough that I was being casual about the whole thing - and when I proved I was casual about the whole thing - nothing was going to happen. Downward spiral.
I did no devotional practice. I did Resh but I did it with 'what can I get out of this technique?' self centeredness.
There was no real connection to my Angel other than ' What experiences will this being give to me?' 'When do I get enlightened??' - when I boiled it right down that's what I was doing.
So with everything going downhill I searched elsewhere.
Now -the LRP 's I've just performed -
The pentagrams were bright and vivid. I could see them with my eyes open or closed.
Charging the Pentagrams - White/Clear energy rushed from my hands -I felt my entire being focused and joining with the pentagram to such an extent I felt part of me extend with the symbol to the end of the universe. Almost like a vortex sucking me into the pentagram that simply rushed outside the walls of the temple at a phenomenal and unbreakable speed. I heard the echo of my vibration rush back - not loud to the physical ear but still audible. Astrally it was loud.
Energised beyond what I thought was possible by this I did the other three pents and charges like a roaring angel - speeding up to a charging rhythm. Something clicked internally that overode the ego control.
I certainly would feel embarrassed beyond belief if I *tried* to do this. I'm self conscious because I can be a good actor... Virgo's ...
The Archangels - all the Sephira were glowing and had visible and tangible energy flooding out of them. The Archangels had both - for some reason - their astral image of standing in space which I normally use - and then they seemed to separate from their static image and become , well almost transparent figures standing in the circle, I couldn't quite make out any details but I saw shapes almost trying to merge in my mind with the usual images.
The Hexagrams are clearly visible and of huge scope, clear to the end of my universal column - one also formed inside the chest.
The feelings of cleanliness and Holiness were clearly distinguishable .
Oh and also when I was in asana I saw a Hawk fly straight through the temple - my eyes were open too. It actually made me start with a 'what the ...'
Getting to the scientific points.
The differences I put down to frequency of performance and devotional attitude/practice - because they are the only things that have changed. (Of course it could mean I've finally cleared the Aphophis phase of probationer too).
Edit - Wait - two other things that have changed are , during Resh I've been taking on the God Forms of the God invoked and I've been performing the Invoking Pentagram ritual .
As far as devotion - thanks to my experiences in Advaita I understand the purpose and feelings of Bhakti. Funnily enough it was probably growing up as a Catholic and being vaguely embarressed about it all (while I was doing your , so to speak time-served ) that but a bolt on the door of devotion.
Resh is now a devotional practice. Sitting is a devotional practice . The LBRP is a devotional practice. Breathing is a ... etc
By starting to see joy and peace and love and ecstasy is a two way energetic conversation with the angel I realise he is responsible for my joys and I can tickle Him too. I have a music list that symbolises union on a deep level and play that before ritual. All sorts of memories of joy that I have I bring to ritual and K&C of Him now,
It's all so different to the Apophis stage It's hard to believe it's the same path. It's like a dry instructional tome has turned into a World Festival of amazement and cool tunes.
Er, I guess basically it comes down to er inflaming something something and invoking something something.
Wish someone would have mentioned this before somewhere.