Banishing related.

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Banishing related.

Postby Anchorite » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:01 pm

So I don't really want to clog the board up with my posts but the 'aha' moment crossed with 'how could I be so stupid' seems worthy of a interjection/cautionary tale. Some of this seems a little overly biographical perhaps , though I offer it here for symptomatic evidence


So reading on a thread , Jim said (of the overuse of the LBRP) ''the main result would probably be progressive alienation from the world. (Seriously.) ''

I can confirm this utterly.

I'd been muddling through for years with different beginners magic books, learning many errors. Joining a good tradition in Witchcraft. While always practicing the LBRP- apparently the 'foundation of magick' according to Kraig, and he insisted on the consistent performance of the ritual . I took him at his word.
My world started kind of falling apart then. Maybe unrelated I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which led to depression. I kept on banishing. I had a drastic experience with an anima / jezebel which led me to rock bottom and a trance of sorrow.
Looking up trance of sorrow on the internet one night I came back to 'little essays'. I figured it was time to make magick my life.
I made a personal Oath to the A'A' and beginning probationer work. Reading it wrongly I figured I'd have to keep banishing to get to the point where I was good enough to invoke within the system. Basically even though I'd been been practicing the LBRP for years anyway and was certainly years past the time I should have been invoking , I kept the banishing because i figured it was helping.
After that features included -

Eventual divorce and relocation in the UK just as I was about to apply for the COT,
Absolute fatigue the ruach - which ran on auto pilot, got into a mental war with myself trying to make it stop through meditation.
Feelings of being in that particular 'the world is a trap' gnostic outlook.
Absolute lack of joy.
Zero sex drive. (I have a partner who I find very attractive but - nothing)
The magical world I used to explore being closed off to me .
Total inertia on all planes.
inability to read anything more complex than 3 lines - as I was an English graduate this was disturbing.
Years of therapy by state appointed therapists. Doctors tests. Every anti-depressant since 1956. Chiropractor when I could afford it (the body was in constant pain from inaction and the CFS. Huge body cramps every time I tried to meditate).

The more I banished - thinking always I needed to be centered before graduating to invoking- the less centered I became. Pushed around by worldly forces while just having enough ego left to be miserable. I'd turned into Buddha the ascetic , had lost vast amounts of weight, lost interest in food and focused on Non Duality techniques of not caring of the symptoms - just focus on the question of who you are - everytime i asked the question the body would spasm. Three years of this.
I just felt worse and worse with only one breakthrough in 3 years of this meditation technique which faded the next morning. Of course I kept RIGHT ON BANISHING TO FIX THIS.

I became a recluse. Leaving the houseboat I live on to empty the bins once a day and making sure that was when everyone else on the marina was less likely to be around.
There was Horror at being around fellow humans
There was Absolute horror at going to a party. Luckily noone would ever invite me as I'd isolated myself by location and being incommunicado. I wouldn't even return emails from formerly close friends.

I returned and read the above post from Jim randomly while on auto pilot. I read more about the LIBP

So 4 days ago and began again basic practice but used LIRP (evenings)> MPR > God Form Plus Asana 3 times a day. And LBRP in the mornings.

The difference is immense. Ritualwise -The Pentagram ritual is clearer than it's ever been on all senses, so too the Astral merging of the God Form.
The sexual chakra is pulsing all over the shop and seems to be controllable via breath to extraordinarily erotic degrees. Dreams are returning. . There is chi feeling all over. And there seems to be warm hands holding my head with a great loving sensation. In the extreme range I feel very much like I'm having an amphetamine high (it's been a long long time). The Ruach is finding links in everything. Ive been having endless insights and can't stop reading .The Nepesh is alive with more force I've ever felt without drugs. The bleak future of incarnation has been replaced with some optimism. I also can't seem to shut up. I'm looking forward to going to parties.
The LIRP seems to be enabling me to receive new energies .The LBRP seems to be balancing and retaining these new energies.
4 days...

I guess it's a cautionary tale of not reading the test questions correctly.
I do wonder if there's any benefit at all to me of gone through all of this or was I retarding my progress without any real point to it at all.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby Gnosomai Emauton » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:58 pm

Thank you for sharing this. It is very much appreciated.
Go in all ways contrary to the world.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby Anchorite » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:03 pm

You're welcome.
If one reader gets to not make the same mistake it's worth it.
Even now as Im writing there's emotions I've not felt for years and they feel clean and good. I'm actively enjoying even the raw ones, not even pretending to enjoy them - they are very welcome to be here.
Everything was so ... grey.
Quite a humbling experience.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby gerry456 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:47 am

I've been doing the LRBP usually every day , sometimes twice a day for years. I never became a recluse and didn't develop fatigue problems. Maybe it never affected me as it did you because I bring energy into myself as a separate daily exercise.
2.19 They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

2.21 We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby Anchorite » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:32 pm

gerry456 wrote:I've been doing the LRBP usually every day , sometimes twice a day for years. I never became a recluse and didn't develop fatigue problems. Maybe it never affected me as it did you because I bring energy into myself as a separate daily exercise.

Probably . You were invoking energy into yourself.
I did no such sensible thing. I've been doing the LRBP for at least 16 years, even when I wasn't doing any work whatsoever due to burn out I wouldn't sleep without banishing. It became a relfex obsession rather than any balanced part of work .


*

I'm not however saying the CFS/M.E. is a result of banishing, I think they could easily run parallel, however M.E. neuropathic pain and muscular sheets altering the breathing patterns is very close in my view to Reich's character armour if not the same thing. (I'm not medically qualified of course but then none of the doctors I've talked to for 16 years about these issues seemed to be either in the sense that nothing proscribed whatsoever worked and I was misdiagnosed for over 13 of those years)
If the cause is indeed different (still no-one knows even though there is a breakthrough every week at this point regarding M.E.) the symptoms seem identical. My specialists notes the difficulty breathing, muscles affecting the posture being typical. He admitted he does *not* know why, just that it's typical - and he's the main diagnostician of one of the very very few specialist departments for this in the country.
Reinforcing negative beliefs can easily cause this character armour symptom.At the very least- If the causes are separate the symptoms gel well together.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby gerry456 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:32 pm

Anchorite wrote:[
Probably . You were invoking energy into yourself.
I did no such sensible thing. I've been doing the LRBP for at least 16 years, even when I wasn't doing any work whatsoever due to burn out I wouldn't sleep without banishing. It became a relfex obsession rather than any balanced part of work .


*

I'm not however saying the CFS/M.E. is a result of banishing, I think they could easily run parallel, however M.E. neuropathic pain and muscular sheets altering the breathing patterns is very close in my view to Reich's character armour if not the same thing. (I'm not medically qualified of course but then none of the doctors I've talked to for 16 years about these issues seemed to be either in the sense that nothing proscribed whatsoever worked and I was misdiagnosed for over 13 of those years)
If the cause is indeed different (still no-one knows even though there is a breakthrough every week at this point regarding M.E.) the symptoms seem identical. My specialists notes the difficulty breathing, muscles affecting the posture being typical. He admitted he does *not* know why, just that it's typical - and he's the main diagnostician of one of the very very few specialist departments for this in the country.
Reinforcing negative beliefs can easily cause this character armour symptom.At the very least- If the causes are separate the symptoms gel well together.


You mentioned Reich and energy depletion. I recommend this and it's cheap if that's a problem;

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Inward-Revolut ... 0751519391
2.19 They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

2.21 We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby Anchorite » Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:15 pm

Thanks. I've just had a few Gopi Krishna books arrive, I'll probably go through Reich's books immediately after I'm done. *bookmarks*


Oh one last thing regarding the OP.
When I was experiencing the three base chakra's lighting up - and the very welcome pleasure it created I had a direct intuition - a quite specfic one noted in my diary that my angel was deeply involved in this process of feeling and pleasure. The Angel was somewhere close but somewhere 'back/behind' me, or behind veils - apart from the pleasure itself which seemed absolutely shared and *right now *. As if the pleasure almost was the angel and that's how he's always worked.
As though the feelings of genuine joy through my life were the angel being happy. But then I thought of 'my joys are your joys' and I reconsidered and saw it equally as possible as a minor Nuit experience. But it seemed so personal.
A minor puzzle.
But the feelings of gratitude remained as I noted above in the first post, I wasn't sure just where they were going or should be directed to.

I noted it in the Diary. Didn't want to claim it as anything and moved on but I just see this from Jim posted way back

'One way is to adapt Nuit's statement, "My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy." Adopt the postulate that the Angel receives pleasure through your experiencing of it. While enjoying pleasure, be mindful of the Angel, of this fact (postulate), etc., and feel... well, whatever you feel in the realization that you are contributing joy to the Angel.

Remember also that feeling genuine gratitude opens the heart center - it has a particular physical feel to it when it's authentic.'

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5976
I swear I had not read that before.
I think I've started to understand Karma Yoga.
Edit - Bhakti Yoga not Karma.
Last edited by Anchorite on Wed Mar 15, 2017 4:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby gerry456 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:54 am

No, wait, maybe my daily LRBP and lack of LIRP explains my historical defensiveness and fatigue also.
2.19 They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

2.21 We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby Anchorite » Wed Mar 15, 2017 9:14 am

gerry456 wrote:No, wait, maybe my daily LRBP and lack of LIRP explains my historical defensiveness and fatigue also.

Honestly I'd do the LIRP tonight if I were you. You've had more than enough practice as I did, note the changes if any and try for a banishing morning and invoking evening. So far the only problem at all has been too much energy to sleep at the usual time and that's not really a problem as 6 hours seems to be more than enough at this moment.
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Re: Banishing related.

Postby gerry456 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:28 am

Yeah, I did invocation of Earth this morning, interesting results.
2.19 They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

2.21 We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world.
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