Ceremonial Magick for the Uninitated

[Hego]

93,

A quick couple of questions;

I am not initiated to the order, and do not know If I can under the circumstances (I live in Turkey). I constantly dig through the reading list for the aspirants, however it is a little hard to keep track with all those references in one another, I read Equinox 3 for a day then start Dogma and Ritual of Transcendental Magic. Lately I've been trying to meditate, but I can't know for sure whether I do it correctly or not.

Anyway, I want to at least perform Liber Resh vel Helios, even before knowing there is a ritual like this one, I used to wake up most days at sunrise to gaze upon the sun. It fills me with vitality. There is a youtube channel called Blazing Star O.T.O. Can I trust the contents there? Or can I trust any other videos on the internet for the performance of a specific ritual?

Thanks in advance,
With love,
Hego.

[Takamba]

Yeah, you can trust that source of videos (Blazing Star).

If it's any help, maybe you don't need to think about things in the context of doing them right or doing them wrong, not that you might be "doing it wrong," (since thou hast no right but to do thou will and deem not of change etc etc) but instead you're just taking a little longer in getting it right (think of a recipe you keep returning too until you get it just right).

Yeah, that's the ticket.

But what do I know? I'm not human, I'm just temporarily occupying this particular form.

[Hego]

But what do I know? I'm not human, I'm just temporarily occupying this particular form.

Ha! Your pretty avatar tells that much

Right, just a moment ago I was criticizing myself on not doing any work unless I can do it perfectly. But how can I reach perfection if I don't make mistakes right?

And I am so impatient that maybe the answers that I'm looking for are all in the next books that I'm going to read. Damn I hate myself when I realize that the answers to my questions are so trivial.

About your question "what do I know", I'm sure you know more than I do.

Thanks Takamba!

[seekinghga]

Lately I've been trying to meditate, but I can't know for sure whether I do it correctly or not.

What forms of meditation have you been attempting?

[Hego]

What forms of meditation have you been attempting?

I try to use Dragon posture in Asana, trying to remain motionless as instructed.
For the preparation of the room, I use incense to fill the air with a single scent, I listen to white noise or a mantra (Hari Om Tat Sat) to fill my ears with a single voice.
While in Asana, I inhale for 10 seconds, hold my breath for 10 seconds, exhale for 10 seconds and repeat.
I try to visualize an object in front of me but when I do I lose count of my breath .
I try to calm my thoughts but they come rushing forward even more .
Couldn't get passed the calming the thoughts part so far.
All I could achieve is the feeling of elevation from the body.

Focusing my thoughts on a single object without my mind wandering is what I can't achieve until now. That's why I think "I am doing this wrong".

[seekinghga]

I try to use Dragon posture in Asana, trying to remain motionless as instructed.

I wrote a reply to you, Hego, but moved it here:
viewtopic.php?f=3&p=101838#p101838

[Hego]

I replied there as well my friend. Thank you!