What happened to me?

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What happened to me?

Postby Fr Cognosco cum Lux » Thu May 22, 2008 4:37 am

I feel terribly outcast from people.
I see people suffering at my work. All they do is suffer. All they want is to go home and drink a beer and sleep. Suffering and comatose with no way to end the pain of day to day existence. All anyone says to me there is "Only 5 more hours and I'm gonna go home and eat a steak and drink beer." This happens every two hours on my breaks.
I try to tell people to have fun, enjoy the moment even though your at work...and they look at me like Im crazy and then tell me how many pain killers they are on. I feel terrible for these people. Im not in any pain at all. I mean, my body is fatigued from 12 hours of standing around trying to look busy, but not really. I do a lot more at my work because time allows. I can break for a cig any time I feel like it. The others are monitored for their breaks. They should get better jobs.
Sometimes when I talk about my department 'extrusions' and compare it with their department "converting" I try to make it seem like comparing "conscious" and "unconscious" work
I am very aware of the multitude of things I need to know and when they need to be checked.
When I was in 'converting' the job makes you solely aware of one movement, one task. in other words You don't think about what you have to do, it just happens.
there are more converters than there are extruders and people that enjoy their suffering are fewer than people that just suffer.
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Postby Jim Eshelman » Thu May 22, 2008 6:20 am

"Life is (****) and then you die," amazingly, has the same number of syllables and the same cadence as, "All existence is pure joy" - but the general masses don't pull back the veil.
Love is the law, love under will.
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"Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch!" - CCXX 3:42
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Re: What happened to me?

Postby Aum418 » Thu May 22, 2008 7:23 am

PainMeridian wrote:I feel terribly outcast from people.
I see people suffering at my work. All they do is suffer. All they want is to go home and drink a beer and sleep. Suffering and comatose with no way to end the pain of day to day existence. All anyone says to me there is "Only 5 more hours and I'm gonna go home and eat a steak and drink beer." This happens every two hours on my breaks.
I try to tell people to have fun, enjoy the moment even though your at work...and they look at me like Im crazy and then tell me how many pain killers they are on. I feel terrible for these people. Im not in any pain at all. I mean, my body is fatigued from 12 hours of standing around trying to look busy, but not really. I do a lot more at my work because time allows. I can break for a cig any time I feel like it. The others are monitored for their breaks. They should get better jobs.
Sometimes when I talk about my department 'extrusions' and compare it with their department "converting" I try to make it seem like comparing "conscious" and "unconscious" work
I am very aware of the multitude of things I need to know and when they need to be checked.
When I was in 'converting' the job makes you solely aware of one movement, one task. in other words You don't think about what you have to do, it just happens.
there are more converters than there are extruders and people that enjoy their suffering are fewer than people that just suffer.


"17. Hear me, ye people of sighing!
The sorrows of pain and regret
Are left to the dead and the dying,
The folk that not know me as yet.
18. These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.
21. We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world.
46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?
47. Where I am these are not.
48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.
49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen. (This is of the 4: there is a fifth who is invisible, & therein am I as a babe in an egg. )"
-Liber AL, ch.II

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.: Blog: http://iao131.wordpress.com :.

* The Journal of Thelemic Studies: http://www.thelemicstudies.com *
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Postby Uni_Verse » Thu May 22, 2008 7:48 am

You answered your own post with your signature :D
There is only one verse,
sung in infinite ways.
-
"Here!"
I come or came?
I sung!
To seeD the Way
-
God sings,
WE experience:
THE UNIVERSE!
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Postby Ankh » Thu May 22, 2008 1:03 pm

93 PainMeridian,

I just recently read your post and then came across this web site. I am sure it was just a coincident. :wink:
http://joyousworld.com/qabalah/index.html

Quote form joyousworlds:
Across from and balancing Hod is Netzach, Victory. Victory is the sephirah of the desire nature. What do you desire?

What do you say out loud with power? The most powerful utterance of most people, that which they say with the most intense emotion is the word, "(****)!" If that is what you utter with power, and you are a powerful creator, is it any wonder that you life stinks?

Here there is much cleansing and clearing to do, much discipline to exert. Be vigilant to only think, say and do that which affirms your highest aspirations. Cultivate intense desires. They are the "rocket fuel" for the spiritual path. And choose that which you desire with great precision.

I hope this helps? :D
AL III,17: “Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.”
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Postby Fr Cognosco cum Lux » Fri May 23, 2008 4:50 am

I feel terribly outcast from heruraha.net forums.

Aum418's quotes are from a Holy book.

Jim Eshelman is an author. Ive seen one of his books on ebay for over 2 grand.

Uni_verse strikes me as mysterious.

I have read nothing on kabala.

Yet I wonder...about the cadence and syllables and their differences between my post and yours.
Are you all "One" meditative masters? Then I am akin to you because I post here. Is there any difference?
That is very interesting about words *uttered with power*
Through Will I create so I should guard my words.
Non-Action is Yellow school, isn't it?
Not really a path of Desire.
I wonder what you guys Will.
I wonder what you use these tools for?

93 93/93
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Postby Edward Mason » Fri May 23, 2008 8:29 am

93,

Our perception of ourselves is not the same thing as the actual potential we have within us. But we get ourselves stuck in closed loops.

"I have failed." "I am unhappy." "I am alone - there is no other forum poster exactly where I am." These are not really conditions so much as phases that we keep auto-suggesting onto or into ourselves.

All of us have something like this going on, and getting wise to our own games can take years and years. The misery becomes the known, a kind of security blanket. When we lose it - if we start to lose it - we get upset and terrified. Instead of "Me plus misery" we have "Me plus ?????" We don't know what is waiting for us. Except that it's a heck of a lot bigger than the misery we have held and hugged for most of our lives.

So we snap back into the familiar, restricting state. And until the fact we are doing this becomes real, becomes a felt reality not just a notion someone posts about in on online forum, not a lot changes.

Change takes time. That's why we have lifetimes, so we can keep on changing. Some of us (believe we) hate change so much we would rather not live.

But that too is a phase that we continually auto-suggest.

I would imagine the people posting here use these tools to move on and away from the self-limiting games they have learned about over the years.

93 93/93,

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Postby Bryan » Fri May 23, 2008 9:27 am

A master was shown an image of a bearded Bodhisattva, and complained loudly, "Why does this man have no beard!?"
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Postby Jim Eshelman » Fri May 23, 2008 9:43 am

Edward Mason wrote:Our perception of ourselves is not the same thing as the actual potential we have within us. But we get ourselves stuck in closed loops.

"I have failed." "I am unhappy." "I am alone - there is no other forum poster exactly where I am." These are not really conditions so much as phases that we keep auto-suggesting onto or into ourselves.

Edward,

This (and the rest)... really insightful, well-expressed stuff. (It jumped out at me because it's right on target with the neurological and brain-chemistry stuff I've been devouring in recent months for the upcoming seminar).
Love is the law, love under will.
Yours in L.V.X.,
Jim Eshelman
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"Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch!" - CCXX 3:42
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Postby Fr Cognosco cum Lux » Fri May 23, 2008 12:25 pm

I agree, it was an inspiring post Ed Mason.

I would imagine the people posting here use these tools to move on and away from the self-limiting games...


but what specifically?
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Postby Jim Eshelman » Fri May 23, 2008 1:34 pm

Try this as a generalization (which has many variants for use):

Simply witness these events as if they were happening to someone else or in a movie etc. This technique can be applied to events and circumstances surrounding you, thoughts passing through your head, sensations felt in your body... more or less anything.

The trick to dissociating your ego from these things is to witness them from outside of them. Your reactions will change.

PS & BTW - My original was framed the way it was because nothing in your post suggested to me you were really having a problem with any of this. I actually thought you were already simply observing one of the great entertainments that surround us all the time, and adding a sliver of satire. My short answer was simply affirming the core element of what I thought you were already saying. I suspect just maybe some of the other respondents thought the same thing. If I'd realized you actually were having a problem with these circumstances, I'd have answered differently.
Love is the law, love under will.
Yours in L.V.X.,
Jim Eshelman
www.jeshelman.com
"Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch!" - CCXX 3:42
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Re: What happened to me?

Postby Jim Eshelman » Fri May 23, 2008 1:50 pm

PainMeridian wrote:I feel terribly outcast from people.

The more I think of this sentence (and those following it), the more it sounds to me like yo uare saying: I'm the same species as these people, but I just don't feel like it - don't feel I can communicate with them, that we live on the same world, or that we share much of the same reality.

Might that be true? If so, it might help to recognize that you are not necessarily the same species, and that there is no reason to expect your reality to conform to theirs. If you think of yourself as different species coexisting with them, things may make more sense. This might make you feel even lonlier, but less crazy. Alienation isn't quite so bad when you are, actually, an alien.

I see people suffering at my work. All they do is suffer.... I try to tell people to have fun, enjoy the moment even though your at work... and they look at me like Im crazy and then tell me how many pain killers they are on.

Ending suffering in others (after the point of helping overcome devastating physical circumstances and deprivation) only comes from their changing their own relationship to the elements of their suffering. (See Edward's post and my last one.) You can't make them do this. You can't take their problems away from them. In fact, it would be theft (and treated by them as theft!) for you to try. They've worked hard for those problems, the problems are important to them, sometimes they give their life it's greatest meaning, and the problems sometimes are really solutions that are the only way they know to avoid the impact of even more crushing problems... and you want to take these away from them? People have been crucified for less.

I feel terrible for these people. Im not in any pain at all

Those two sentences are contradictory - or, at least, appear to be.

To find the place where you are coming from real compassion, first youy have to tell the truth about wanting to reduce your own pain. How much of "wanting things to be different for the co-workers" is really wanting to reduce your own pain? How (and how much) would your life be better if things were different for them? Spend some time thinking about this - sort out where your own discomfort is in play. It's OK to be selfish, BTW - just be clear and honest to yourself when you're doing it. And then see what is left in you that wants to help them solely because you see them hurting. Here is where your compassion begins.

Using the witnessing technique I suggested, now look afresh at them and their circumstances and see if you can find one thing each day that makes their load lighter or gives them a break from their burdens. Hint: It probably requires entering into their reality and their language. Further hint: They probably aren't on pain killers so much because they physically hurt as because their lives suck. (Which means, it is their experience that their lives suck.)
Love is the law, love under will.
Yours in L.V.X.,
Jim Eshelman
www.jeshelman.com
"Success is thy proof: argue not; convert not; talk not overmuch!" - CCXX 3:42
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Postby Edward Mason » Fri May 23, 2008 3:11 pm

93,

PainMeridian wrote:
Quote:
I would imagine the people posting here use these tools to move on and away from the self-limiting games...


but what specifically?


Do you mean "What specific games?" "What tools do they use?" or ""On and away to what?" Since our games are specific to ourselves (though they mostly follow established patterns) and each contributor here has offered his own set of tools in a post, I assume you're asking "On to what?"

If we get stuck in a mindset of "I can't move on from where I am," then we usually end up convincing ourselves that onward movement isn't possible. Which is the same place from which we started.

I don't think I've ever met anyone who <i>really</i> wanted to embrace freedom. We prefer "Freedom on my own terms" or "Freedom, but..." so that we aren't <i>too</i> free.

Occult training, as I see it, is not so much about opening ourselves up to freedom, as it is about subverting our efforts to <i>avoid</i> it. It does this quite cleverly, by apearing to impose the "restrictions" of applied discipline. By the time we have attained a measure of freedom from our own fear-ridden habits of mind, it's too late to turn back.

We can see light.

Does that resonate?

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Postby Fr Cognosco cum Lux » Sat May 24, 2008 9:28 am

Yes that resonates Ed Mason.
Its just like kung fu. A punch starts off as a punch but then becomes a lock a block and a throw but it ends off as just a punch. The freedom of the attack is there but it in kung fu it is highly disciplined.
I realize that people have to help themselves.
I tell my wife that the only way a 'human' learns is through Shock and trial and error.
My original post was really about the differences between the two departments at my work.
One keeps people down and severely restricts what they can do.
My department allows measures of freedom. But not really. I mean, I have the internet on the computers on the factory floor....When have you ever seen that?
I'm working with those alienation practices though.
93 93/93

...I can see where "my pain" fits into the equation. I don't see the same world others see. Simple.
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