LD330 wrote:What do you guys think of free love? Are any of you in open relationships?
That has been "the rules" in most relationships I've had, at most periods of those relationships, for my entire life from age 19 onward. At the risk of drawing the ire of knee-jerk Thelemic fundamentalists who don't ever want anybody to be able to say that anybody else is, or isn't, a Thelemite, I'll say quite boldly that you just can't be a Thelemite unless you accept ideas consistent with no ownership
of another person, and especially (especially!) no ownership in love and sex. (You caught the spirit exactly with the passage you quoted.)
All I'm really saying, though, is that an unbounded area of choice
has to remain - that there be no outside rules imposed by society, social rules, etc. But people can make their own choices, and make agreements within a particular relationship. For example, you might choose to be with someone in a relationship where your agreement is monogamy - that's cool, too, if you enter into the agreement freely. However, entering into such an agreement (or its reverse) under duress will screw you up psychologically. Choice has to be free.
For example, in the many years I've been with my current mate, our rules have always been sexually free. However, neither of us has chosen to "take advantage" of that rule. There are no walls on the issue AND we both just want to be with each other (and that has lasted for years). See, it all comes down to choice.
say that in society's move from a mostly monogamous model to something more varied and free, there have been a lot of growing pains. Figuring out how all this works, from the late '60s and early '70s forward, has been a huge challenge, but, as a community, we've been doing it. Different models and approaches and ways of framing things have emerged, been tried, worked for some, been discarded by others. Decades later, society overall has become more accepting, and people (at least in some geographic areas) have more freedom from old expectations. Along the way, I've caused far more emotional pain than I like to think about, and I've been put through some emotional roller coasters of my own; that's just been part of the journey.
Today I need not be a sexual freedom activist (which I pretty much have been my whole adult life), because (at least in Southern California) a majority of the social barriers have been blown away.