Liber XC - Loss of Joy vs. Abyss of Depth

[Zalthos]

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

My Saturn Return was last month.

This year and the months leading up to it have been dramatically positive and negative. I have gained a few major achievements and suffered a few great losses. I have struggled to accept the way my life is unfolding, but I am starting to come to terms with the things I cannot change by accepting what I have previously resisted.

It is amazing how seemingly insignificant, little things about yourself can have major consequences if ignored and left unattended. There are areas in my life I have neglected to improve. In the past, I have found it suitable to trace my undesirable tendencies to their sources and excuse myself from the work. This will no longer suffice, and I have been empowered to take it upon myself to make better what is within my power.

I spent many years of my early adulthood studying the work of Joseph Campbell. One saying of his easily came to mind as I reflected on my current station in life:

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy."

Liber Tzaddi reinforces this 10-fold with an unforgiving, uncompromising, relentless vitality urging us towards nothing less than complete bliss at every moment. I have begun to read this book from the perspective of the God, as if I Am He, and I see it as instructive of how we should react inwardly towards anything but utter rapture: with contempt, disgust, and a swift stamping-out of that which is unworthy of even a moment's attention, save what is necessary to bring about its annihilation.

In this book, it is spoken of an "abyss of depth", "hells", "the Demon", and "that Blind Creature of Slime". I seem to be missing something about this aspect of the Self; is this not where suffering, fear, sorrow, weariness, anger, discomfort, etc. reside?

I suppose any of us can be weak, timid, imperfect, cowardly, poor, or tearful, regardless of whether we are approaching Angel or Demon, but perhaps I am off by seeing the Dark as comprehensively Negative, even in the mundane/worldly sense. By this same token, is Joy not Light/Angel/Positive?

In summation, I would think that to "joyfully participating in the sorrows of the world" would be the same as achieving the wedding "to that Blind Creature of the Slime," but I think I've confused myself even further as I've made this post, or perhaps it has just become clearer that joyful participation in sorrow is a union of sorts beyond simply being drawn to the Dark or Light aspects of life.

Some are drawn to the Light and others to the Dark; the Initiated are drawn to completeness and equilibrium.

Many thanks to all of you that took the time to read this, and many more to those of you who choose to share a response.

[Jim Eshelman]

My Saturn Return was last month.

When you take all that people say about this stage, and all that you may be feeling, I think you will find the following embraces and summarizes all of them: You have returned to confront the definitions you once set in place and limits and constraints of your definitions of your life.

Periodically - one time being in the 18 to 21 year old range, the next time in the 28 to 30 range, usually - we make decisions about the nature of our life, set definitions in place, wrap our future in some sort of picture. Then we keep growing. No matter how spacious the vision we create, most people (and especially those on an inner growth path) outgrow this. What hits at the next Saturn quarter, and especially at the Saturn return, is that we get too big for the box we built for our universe. We have to repeat, anew, the universe-inventing process we did earlier.

I have struggled to accept the way my life is unfolding, but I am starting to come to terms with the things I cannot change by accepting what I have previously resisted.

Perfect!

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy."

In this book, it is spoken of an "abyss of depth", "hells", "the Demon", and "that Blind Creature of Slime". I seem to be missing something about this aspect of the Self; is this not where suffering, fear, sorrow, weariness, anger, discomfort, etc. reside?

There is so much that could be said about this. Let me try to dig out a couple of salient points that might help you.

First of all, don't resist or deny the (****). That's not the same as embracing its antithesis. If life is inherently joyful, and atop that we layer ugly reactions, and then on top of that we affirm that it's joyful, we're just making things worse, because we have two layers of lie to get past. I call this construct a Shit Sandwich, two slices of joy with a shitburger in the middle. Not recommended. Instead, own the (****), start telling the truth about the things you feel that way about, and get through to the joy.

Second of all, I think mostly this passage is talking about unredeemed sexual energies, toxified by all the things that in a Christian aeon have mucked us up. Read it in that context.

Third, regardless of the fine points, everything to this point has dealt with horizontal equilibration, and the Path of Tzaddi, by the time we open through it into Netzach, is requiring vertical balance of us. Reaching too far into the heights? Own the depths you're resisting. Spending too much time wallowing in the depths? Own the heights!

I suppose any of us can be weak, timid, imperfect, cowardly, poor, or tearful, regardless of whether we are approaching Angel or Demon, but perhaps I am off by seeing the Dark as comprehensively Negative, even in the mundane/worldly sense. By this same token, is Joy not Light/Angel/Positive?

I think it's just about the truth of what's so, actually and emotionally.

In summation, I would think that to "joyfully participating in the sorrows of the world" would be the same as achieving the wedding "to that Blind Creature of the Slime," but I think I've confused myself even further as I've made this post, or perhaps it has just become clearer that joyful participation in sorrow is a union of sorts beyond simply being drawn to the Dark or Light aspects of life.

Ah, there, I think, is the error: Not joyful participation in sorrow. Rather, joyful participation in the things that cause sorrow. (By telling the truth about it, not by denying the sorrow.)

Some are drawn to the Light and others to the Dark; the Initiated are drawn to completeness and equilibrium.

Truth!

[Starry Soul]

Second of all, I think mostly this passage is talking about unredeemed sexual energies, toxified by all the things that in a Christian aeon have mucked us up.

Which passage?

[Jim Eshelman]

All those that refer to the depths under various language. Mostly (perhaps not exclusively) I think the vertical polarities are N'shamah vs. Nefesh.

[Zalthos]

It helps me to put things in my own words sometimes, if only to solidify my understanding and, perhaps, making your effort a little more rewarding by demonstrating that I get it.

First of all, don't resist or deny the (****). That's not the same as embracing its antithesis. If life is inherently joyful, and atop that we layer ugly reactions, and then on top of that we affirm that it's joyful, we're just making things worse, because we have two layers of lie to get past. I call this construct a Shit Sandwich, two slices of joy with a shitburger in the middle. Not recommended. Instead, own the (****), start telling the truth about the things you feel that way about, and get through to the joy.

The main message I am getting here is that we must own our responses to life. There are things we can control, things we can influence with failure or success, and things beyond our control. Ugly reactions are a signal and source of resistance for, in certain ways, life just happens to us. If existence is pure joy, why should we resist anything that is truly beyond our control? While these things stand, they should simply be accepted as part of the existence of our unfolding lives. By taking responsibility over how we respond to each moment, we are that much closer to extending the ecstasy and bliss that is at the heart of life.

Also, thank you for adding your signature humor for color, haha. Very enjoyable.

I think it's just about the truth of what's so, actually and emotionally.

By actually and emotionally, that is almost to say reality and how we respond to it.

Ah, there, I think, is the error: Not joyful participation in sorrow. Rather, joyful participation in the things that cause sorrow. (By telling the truth about it, not by denying the sorrow.)

This ties back to the Shit Sandwich point above, haha. It's the difference between trying to force yourself to enjoy sorrow and ending the sorrow by accepting its cause as a part of reality.

How do you show someone you love them? I say you do so by simply enjoying their presence, meeting them with the same affection and thoughtful attention that you would afford yourself. Same with life. Life sucks sometimes. It can be a bitch. For some of us, maybe it's always that way. But, if you can accept it and meet life with grace where others might falter, then who is the better lover?

Ah, but life is always the best lover for life always accepts us; it is other people who tend to be the problem.

As of yet, I am still realizing that I have but one Companion, even that one Companion is what I do have.

As always, thank you so much for coming to my aid, Jim. You are a true treasure.