My Saturn Return was last month.
This year and the months leading up to it have been dramatically positive and negative. I have gained a few major achievements and suffered a few great losses. I have struggled to accept the way my life is unfolding, but I am starting to come to terms with the things I cannot change by accepting what I have previously resisted.
It is amazing how seemingly insignificant, little things about yourself can have major consequences if ignored and left unattended. There are areas in my life I have neglected to improve. In the past, I have found it suitable to trace my undesirable tendencies to their sources and excuse myself from the work. This will no longer suffice, and I have been empowered to take it upon myself to make better what is within my power.
I spent many years of my early adulthood studying the work of Joseph Campbell. One saying of his easily came to mind as I reflected on my current station in life:
Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy."
Liber Tzaddi reinforces this 10-fold with an unforgiving, uncompromising, relentless vitality urging us towards nothing less than complete bliss at every moment. I have begun to read this book from the perspective of the God, as if I Am He, and I see it as instructive of how we should react inwardly towards anything but utter rapture: with contempt, disgust, and a swift stamping-out of that which is unworthy of even a moment's attention, save what is necessary to bring about its annihilation.
In this book, it is spoken of an "abyss of depth", "hells", "the Demon", and "that Blind Creature of Slime". I seem to be missing something about this aspect of the Self; is this not where suffering, fear, sorrow, weariness, anger, discomfort, etc. reside?
I suppose any of us can be weak, timid, imperfect, cowardly, poor, or tearful, regardless of whether we are approaching Angel or Demon, but perhaps I am off by seeing the Dark as comprehensively Negative, even in the mundane/worldly sense. By this same token, is Joy not Light/Angel/Positive?
In summation, I would think that to "joyfully participating in the sorrows of the world" would be the same as achieving the wedding "to that Blind Creature of the Slime," but I think I've confused myself even further as I've made this post, or perhaps it has just become clearer that joyful participation in sorrow is a union of sorts beyond simply being drawn to the Dark or Light aspects of life.
Some are drawn to the Light and others to the Dark; the Initiated are drawn to completeness and equilibrium.
Many thanks to all of you that took the time to read this, and many more to those of you who choose to share a response.